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Ba-Dun, Tsch!
Loving life!
My entries!!!!!!!!!!!
Before you know it
Monday. 9.22.14 11:41 pm
Wedding is in 26 freaking days!!!
I'd be super stoked if there wasn't still a million things to do. Not that I'm NOT excited. But I'm done with all the planning and stupid people asking stupid questions and certain people being passive aggressive over the whole wedding because of really ridiculous crap.

but none of that is important at the end of the day! Just gotta keep telling myself that MOST of this stuff will cease once the wedding is over. Still gotta deal with passive aggressive crap but whatever.

I still get to marry my best friend! Huzzah!!!
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dead
Thursday. 2.20.14 11:40 am
My car died on me on Tuesday. Not sure what I'm going to do about that.

And then my Uncle dies last night. Heart attack.
Everyone is still in shock.

While I'm definitely really sad, I feel bad to admit that I was more devastated when Scott's Uncle passed away last Summer. It makes me feel really guilty. Thus, making me more sad.

My aunt (technically my great aunt) was with him for 43 years. Everyone is really worried about her because he was her everything.

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1D
Friday. 1.17.14 2:00 pm
One direction is stuck in my head and I hate it and I can't get it out!

There are three parties in the next three nights that I am attending and I feel like this weekend will be flying by! Excited but at the same time, hoping there is a chance to relax.

I'm about to do something pretty crazy with my hair next week and I'm pumped!
My friend is in beauty school so I'm letting her try something out for funsies! I'll post before and after pictures later! I don't think Scott is very excited about it and my father will kill me if he sees it but I figured if there was ONE thing I really wanted to do before officially settling down and becoming a wife and having kids and all that, it would be to do whatever I wanted with my hair! Not to say getting married and having kids will prevent me from doing things I want. But I don't think I'd have the courage to do it after the wedding.

Speaking of the wedding (!) I go dress shopping for the first time in two weeks!! =D

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Brrrr
Tuesday. 1.7.14 10:14 am
No water at the house, no heat at work, the car barely started and I had a flat tire.
Its been a very interesting Tuesday morning.

Everyone stay warm out there!

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New stuff
Tuesday. 12.31.13 11:17 am
2013 was a confusing year. Lots of ups and downs. I'd give it a B-.
2014 is looking pretty promising. We're in our home and can focus 100% on planning our wedding. His sister is getting married in April and we are getting married in October. I will have a new nephew in May and possibly another niece or nephew in the works if Scott's sister decides to start popping out babies after she's married.

My new years resolutions are to focus more on family and try to continue to strengthen my relationships with my future in-laws. I plan on eating healthy and exercising regularly. I MUST make my health a priority. Lastly, I WILL master the use of my sewing machine so I can make my own clothes! I want to sew the dress I wear for Scott's sister's wedding.

I'm currently making an Apron for myself for when I bake. My next project will be to make a Skirt. Maybe a Purse after that and then I will make my dress. =)

For Christmas Scott's sister got me a whole bunch of sewing goodies that is making my life so much easier when I sew! I will post pictures as I finish each project.

Happy New Year everyone!

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Rambling
Thursday. 12.26.13 9:23 am
I've never had the problem with getting along with someone's parents before.
Friends, old boyfriends, all their parents liked me. I became a second daughter to most of them. every time a relationship ended with a guy the parents seemed to be just as upset as the guy I use to date. I could go to a friends house and sit around with their parents for an hour or so just chit chatting and joking around and connecting with them. I connect with people. Its what I do. its what I'm good at.

But now I'm in a situation where there is no strong connection to the parents what so ever. His Mom doesn't live in the area so that's a little understandable. I think she likes me okay. We never have any deep conversations about life and we never really joke around but we get along okay. If there was one word to describe our relationship I would choose "pleasant". There's hardly any tension for her and I to be uncomfortable with each other. Though the effort will be completely on my shoulders, I know that I could have that stronger connection to her if I tried harder and put more pressure on her to have a stronger presence in her son's life. (by inviting her over more and trying to do things with her). Both of them are terrible at communicating so if she's going to get closer to her son, I feel like I need to make a bigger effort to bond with her first.

Then there's his dad....
We use to get along very well! He joked with me and would ask me about my life and work and family. Then the whole thing with my car happened. My car is a lemon. Always has problems. He started asking a lot of questions and I became frustrated with him for grilling me about my car so much and I may have decided to end the conversation before he was ready to and he got upset. Well, that was two years ago. Ever since then, our relationship has gotten more and more strained. Every attempt we would have at a conversation would end awkwardly and he would always pick and prod at everything I said and question it. With work, and why I dropped out of college, and why I haven't gone back, and family stuff. every time we'd have a conversation, this would happen.

The car rides home after these meetings always ended the same way. I'd be upset that his father didn't like me. Scott would reassure me that he did like me. That I was being paranoid and that I was over thinking things.

Now our relationship goes like this...
"Hello" *quick hug*
*he would talk to everyone else BUT me*
"See you later" *quick hug*


And yesterday at Christmas everyone got a card from him that had personal notes for all of them in the card. everyone opened their cards at the same time and everyone was reading their cards for 30 seconds or so and I finished mine in 5 seconds. Scott's sister showed her fiance what he wrote in her card and vis versa and his brother and wife did the same thing later in the day and Scott got a nice note in him. Mine just said "Merry Christmas" and then he signed it. Not gonna lie, that really hurt my feelings. Everyone got a nice message from him in a card but me.

For the last year I was trying to convince myself that I was over thinking things. that he wouldn't have helped us to get our house if he didn't like me. That all the tension was brought on by me and that I am misunderstanding his behavior.

But to write everyone else a note in their card and not put anything in mine....
I mean, If you think I'm stressing about it too much and that it isn't a big deal, tell me! I can't help but take it as a sign that he has nothing nice to say to me and that he doesn't like me.

I know that there are tons of people who have in-laws that they don't really get along with but since I've never had to deal with a parent not liking me before, I'm really struggling with it.

I miss Scott's Uncle so much.
He was the one person that accepted me immediately and showed me nothing but love and treated me as family right away.


But throwing all that to the side, everything else about my Christmas was awesome! Scott's Niece is super adorable and has changed so much since the last time we saw her! My Nephews didn't want anything to do with me but understandably so since they had a mountain of toys to play with. haha. It was great spending the morning with my family and I enjoyed spending time with Scott's siblings. This weekend we'll be going to Scott's Grandfather's house and spending time with him and I'll see a good chunk of my extended family on Friday!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!
Sorry for my ramble.

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